WOW!!! Who knew that yesterday could have been crazier than the day before. Our sibling visit yesterday went extremely well...this was the first time that we got to visit with the older brothers. Things were good. We took them pizza and drinks and they were very friendly and wanted to know how things were with their baby sister.
These boys are only 8, 11, 14 & 16, but they are very loving toward the baby and each other. The oldest is in a foster home with 5 other children his age and doing very well, the next boy is in a treatment center because of some "behavior" problems, aka his drug addicted mother couldn't put up with him not being what he should be without her direction, and doing well. We were told yesterday that as soon as he heard the other four children were in foster care again, he started doing much better. He told me that he wants so badly to be with them. The younger two boys are together in a foster home with 3 other children. Our case worker is concerned about the boys and their level of care and they are watching them. She doesn't feel like they are progressing and she has alluded to the fact that the foster mother lies. This upsets my husband and I deeply because all the kids are very sweet and polite and we would love to take all of them, we just don't have the room to house eight children, six of them being boys.
After hearing about the younger boys, my husband and I started praying together. We really feel like the Lord has laid it on us to parent these children. After praying for a few days, we felt like He was telling us to go forward and see if we could foster them as well. Our prayer was that if this wasn't His will for us that He would close the door tight. Our first obstacle was our license. We are only licensed for two children under three. They were able to get that changed due to the fact that we have moved and have much more room than in the beginning. Our next hurdle is the 5:1 ratio. We already have 4 kids in the house including our 3 biological children and two more would put me at 6. We were told at first that this was bad news so my husband thought God had shut the door, but I had this peace come over me and I felt like the door hadn't closed. In deed it hadn't...we get a call from our case worker after the visit and she says that there may be a waiver that we can get from licensing that will allow us to keep the three younger siblings together. Our plan now, if we do get the boys, is to adopt all three of them and to stress to the older boys that we want them to be a part of our family as well. God is in control and He has a plan for all of us involved. I look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
crazy life
This week has started out to be a crazy one...trying to recover from the demands of a long weekend, a family visit today (which mom didn't show for) and a sibling visit tomorrow with a brother that is in a treatment facility in Houston. Oh yea, did I mention we might be taking in two of the brothers. More on that later when I have some time to sit and type, for now it's off to bed to rest up for another full day tomorrow.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Medicaid
Well, we have had our little one for 2 months now. The state requires that they have a medical and dental check up within the first 30 days. Sounds easy enough...only the Medicaid number they furnish you with the day they drop them off doesn't work for about 2 months, and the only reason it does start to work is because you have to stay on them daily.
We received a letter from the Family Health and Protective Services that said that it had come to their attention that we had failed to get her needed checkups done. She did have a medical check up 5 days after coming to us, only because our pediatrician was nice enough to take her as a medicaid patient since our other 3 three children go there. Of course our dentist doesn't take medicaid, so I was on a hunt to find a dentist that does. Not a lot of them do, and the ones that the social worker had said did, no longer did. Guess they weren't too happy with the way Medicaid is ran either. I mean it makes no since to me that this is a Government ran program and they expect me to follow the rules, but they don't have to... so there for the Dr's and Dentist's that have it in their hearts to see people who are on Medicaid and help out those less fortunate are punished and don't get the pay that comes to them.
I finally found a dentist that takes Medicaid, but guess what part of town it was in? I made her an appointment no familiar with the part of town it was in. Of course, I home school our older three children, so I take her to the appointment with all 4 kids in tow. It was scary. I mean, I have been to state clinics before for TB tests, but I never would take my children with me. In the waiting room it was packed. People were on their cell phones and I think it must have been a long distance phone call, because the lady was having to yell at the person on the other end. Her 2 very small children kept going outside and she didn't even care. Not only was there a parking lot with people driving past, it was a very scary part of town. I don't know maybe I am over protective, but I love my kids and wouldn't want anything to happen to them. In the other corner of the room there was a small TV on that had some dysfunctional talk show on it where people were revealing their "darkest secrets". That's always family friendly! After filling out all the paper work, the lady calls me back up to the counter to let me know that her Medicaid card was still inactive...you're kidding me? We leave to the comfort to our Suburban with the doors locked.
After finally getting the Medicaid card up and running, I called that same day and got her into the dentist, this time leaving my other three with my parents. He looked at her and felt like she had a cavity...at 21 months...so he referred us to a dentist in Colleyville, Dr. Gober, that had a very nice office and staff. We will be going back to Dr. Gober's office from now on, unless he backs out of the Medicaid.
We received a letter from the Family Health and Protective Services that said that it had come to their attention that we had failed to get her needed checkups done. She did have a medical check up 5 days after coming to us, only because our pediatrician was nice enough to take her as a medicaid patient since our other 3 three children go there. Of course our dentist doesn't take medicaid, so I was on a hunt to find a dentist that does. Not a lot of them do, and the ones that the social worker had said did, no longer did. Guess they weren't too happy with the way Medicaid is ran either. I mean it makes no since to me that this is a Government ran program and they expect me to follow the rules, but they don't have to... so there for the Dr's and Dentist's that have it in their hearts to see people who are on Medicaid and help out those less fortunate are punished and don't get the pay that comes to them.
I finally found a dentist that takes Medicaid, but guess what part of town it was in? I made her an appointment no familiar with the part of town it was in. Of course, I home school our older three children, so I take her to the appointment with all 4 kids in tow. It was scary. I mean, I have been to state clinics before for TB tests, but I never would take my children with me. In the waiting room it was packed. People were on their cell phones and I think it must have been a long distance phone call, because the lady was having to yell at the person on the other end. Her 2 very small children kept going outside and she didn't even care. Not only was there a parking lot with people driving past, it was a very scary part of town. I don't know maybe I am over protective, but I love my kids and wouldn't want anything to happen to them. In the other corner of the room there was a small TV on that had some dysfunctional talk show on it where people were revealing their "darkest secrets". That's always family friendly! After filling out all the paper work, the lady calls me back up to the counter to let me know that her Medicaid card was still inactive...you're kidding me? We leave to the comfort to our Suburban with the doors locked.
After finally getting the Medicaid card up and running, I called that same day and got her into the dentist, this time leaving my other three with my parents. He looked at her and felt like she had a cavity...at 21 months...so he referred us to a dentist in Colleyville, Dr. Gober, that had a very nice office and staff. We will be going back to Dr. Gober's office from now on, unless he backs out of the Medicaid.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Requirements for Foster/Adopt Families
Basic Requirements:
The prospective foster/adoptive parents may be single or married and must:
be at least 21 years of age, financially stable, and responsible mature adults,
complete an application
share information regarding their background and lifestyle,
provide relative and non-relative references,
show proof of marriage and/or divorce,
agree to a home study which includes visits with all household members,
allow staff to complete a criminal history background check and an abuse/neglect check on all adults in the household, and
attend free training to learn about issues of abused and neglected children.
The training provides an opportunity for the family and DFPS to assess whether foster care or adoption is best for the family. The family may withdraw from the meetings at any time. There is no charge for the meetings. Foster/adoptive parents generally train together.
Additional Foster Care Requirements In addition to the basic requirements, foster parents must:
have adequate sleeping space.
allow no more than 6 children in the home including your own children or children for whom you provide day care.
agree to a nonphysical discipline policy.
permit fire, health and safety inspections of the home.
vaccinate all pets.
obtain and maintain CPR/First Aid Certification.
obtain TB testing as required by the local Health Department for household members.
attend 20 hours or more of training each year.
Responsibilities of Foster and Adoptive Families
Foster Parents:
provide daily care and nurturing of children in foster care;
advocate for children in their schools and communities;
inform the children's caseworkers about adjustments to the home, school, and community, as well as any problems that may arise, including any serious illnesses, accidents, or serious occurrences involving the foster children or their own families;
make efforts as team members with children's caseworkers towards reunifying children with their birth families;
provide a positive role model to birth families and
help children learn life skills.
Adoptive Parents:
provide permanent homes and a lifelong commitment to children into adulthood;
provide for the short-term and long-term needs of children;
provide for children's emotional, mental, physical, social, educational, and cultural needs, according to each child's developmental age and growth;
may become certified as a foster family and accept children who are not legally free for adoption, but whose permanency plan is adoption.
Can foster families adopt?
Yes! Many families are interested in both fostering and adopting. They agree with the agency that the children's needs come first. In most cases, this means helping prepare children for reunification with their birth family, mentoring the birth parents, or working toward a relative or kinship placement.
When termination of parental rights is in the children's best interest and adoption is their plan, then foster parents who have cared for the children will be given the opportunity to adopt. Dual certification of parents to both foster and adopt speeds up the placement process, reduces the number of moves a child makes, and allows relationships to evolve with the initial placement process. Nearly half the adoptions of children in DFPS foster care are by their foster families.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Making a difference for a child
It is heart wrenching to see what an impact our selfishness has on children. So many adults (and I call them adults only because of their age or their choice to have children) are so caught up in their own pleasures that they are neglecting and abusing their children. Whatever happened to the old school? The school where you payed a price for your actions. The school where you were expected to be respectful, responsible, and resourceful. The school where you followed the rules because you knew if you didn't, you would be punished enough to want to follow those rules next time.
At this time, there are hundreds of children in foster care. These children range in ages birth through 17 years of age. They are in foster care for many reasons. Some are there because their parents or parent is on drugs, some have been physically or emotionally abused, some have been raped or molested by these parents or their partners, some are neglected all together, and others are just unwanted by their parents. This breaks my heart...and to me and my family, this is a call for action.
While sitting in church one day, I hear this verse from James 1:27 that commands us to "look after orphans and widows". The passage holds to my heart...my husband and I talk about this on the drive home...what is an orphan anyway? You don't hear the term too often these days. Wikipedia says: An orphan (from the Greek ορφανός) is a person (typically a child), who has lost both parents, often through death. One legal definition used in the USA is someone bereft through "death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, of both parents" After talking about how there are no real orphanages here in the US, we come to the conclusion that children in foster care and children waiting adoption is our modern day orphans that God was talking about. We decided to obey and start the fostering process.
After the process of attending classes and training (PRIDE), home studies, background checks, TB tests, fire inspections and Health inspections...I am happy to say we are the proud foster parents of a 20 month old little girl. Her story is a sad one, but we are trying to make it a happy ending. In her 20 months of life, she has only been with her birth mother for 6 months. That means that for 14 months of her life, she has been out of her mothers care. She was removed at birth because her mother had taken drugs during her pregnancy and her precious newborn tested positive at birth. She returned to her mother's home at 13 months but was removed again 2 months ago because her mother admitted that she was still doing drugs. Did I mention that she also has 4 older brothers that this is their third time for removal because of her drug habit? Her mother told her oldest brother who is 16 that she will never quit using drugs because they mean too much to her. Can you imagine that? Your mother telling you that drugs are more important than you are.
That is what I was talking about...people being so caught up in themselves that something so important and precious as our children, get thrown aside and other people get the privilege of raising and influencing our children. When will she grow up? What will it take to make this mother see her selfishness? What if she loses her children? Will she snap out of her addiction then? Will she take life serious? See that rules are made to be followed? Or will she just be free from her responsibilities? Free to come and go as she pleases, free to do drugs without the kids in the way? Life is hard...doing the right thing is hard...but nothing worth doing or having is easy. Usually the easy stuff is boring and the joy you get is short lived. I know, I have three children of my own that I get the privilege of spending the entire day with. It has been hard and I'm sure it will continue to be hard as they pass through the many stages of life, but I love my children and I consider it a blessing to be their mother and teacher.
I challenge everyone to make a difference for a child, even if it is you own. Teach your children to be respectful of themselves and others. Teach them to serve others and take the focus off of them. Teach them that drugs are bad. Teach them to be self disciplined. If we do this, it might just help the next generation to end the self-centeredness.
At this time, there are hundreds of children in foster care. These children range in ages birth through 17 years of age. They are in foster care for many reasons. Some are there because their parents or parent is on drugs, some have been physically or emotionally abused, some have been raped or molested by these parents or their partners, some are neglected all together, and others are just unwanted by their parents. This breaks my heart...and to me and my family, this is a call for action.
While sitting in church one day, I hear this verse from James 1:27 that commands us to "look after orphans and widows". The passage holds to my heart...my husband and I talk about this on the drive home...what is an orphan anyway? You don't hear the term too often these days. Wikipedia says: An orphan (from the Greek ορφανός) is a person (typically a child), who has lost both parents, often through death. One legal definition used in the USA is someone bereft through "death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, of both parents" After talking about how there are no real orphanages here in the US, we come to the conclusion that children in foster care and children waiting adoption is our modern day orphans that God was talking about. We decided to obey and start the fostering process.
After the process of attending classes and training (PRIDE), home studies, background checks, TB tests, fire inspections and Health inspections...I am happy to say we are the proud foster parents of a 20 month old little girl. Her story is a sad one, but we are trying to make it a happy ending. In her 20 months of life, she has only been with her birth mother for 6 months. That means that for 14 months of her life, she has been out of her mothers care. She was removed at birth because her mother had taken drugs during her pregnancy and her precious newborn tested positive at birth. She returned to her mother's home at 13 months but was removed again 2 months ago because her mother admitted that she was still doing drugs. Did I mention that she also has 4 older brothers that this is their third time for removal because of her drug habit? Her mother told her oldest brother who is 16 that she will never quit using drugs because they mean too much to her. Can you imagine that? Your mother telling you that drugs are more important than you are.
That is what I was talking about...people being so caught up in themselves that something so important and precious as our children, get thrown aside and other people get the privilege of raising and influencing our children. When will she grow up? What will it take to make this mother see her selfishness? What if she loses her children? Will she snap out of her addiction then? Will she take life serious? See that rules are made to be followed? Or will she just be free from her responsibilities? Free to come and go as she pleases, free to do drugs without the kids in the way? Life is hard...doing the right thing is hard...but nothing worth doing or having is easy. Usually the easy stuff is boring and the joy you get is short lived. I know, I have three children of my own that I get the privilege of spending the entire day with. It has been hard and I'm sure it will continue to be hard as they pass through the many stages of life, but I love my children and I consider it a blessing to be their mother and teacher.
I challenge everyone to make a difference for a child, even if it is you own. Teach your children to be respectful of themselves and others. Teach them to serve others and take the focus off of them. Teach them that drugs are bad. Teach them to be self disciplined. If we do this, it might just help the next generation to end the self-centeredness.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Texas Foster Care
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